As a young girl I felt I wasn’t good enough. I was not like the others, I was afraid of what other people thought of me and it made me anxious. I didn’t understand myself and that freaked me out. I started to look for ways to understand what was going on inside of me and slowly I started to create a sense of who I wanted to become. Inspired by my mom, I found the strength to try again every single day, to make a new step towards that person. This is what eventually led me out of my misery. Nowadays, I can describe myself as optimistic, open-minded and focused on opportunity and positivity.
Here's what I learned
During the years I felt bad, I felt bad about myself, about others, basically about life itself. The one thing that kept me going and helped me to find the joy in life back, was my eagerness to understand. Learning has always been a joy for me and I will always find a way to make learning enjoyable for myself, even within a flawed education system. Knowledge is power, insights are like my breath in life.
Being bullied in primary school was were the misery started for me. It made me anxious for how people viewed me, and made me realize I was different. They made me believe I was not good enough and it made me feel insecure towards others.
My eagerness to understand led me to learn that bullying is all about the insecurity of the bully, IT IS NOT ABOUT ME. I slowly learned that people can love me for who I am and that I didn’t have to carry this “bully burden” with me anymore. As a matter of fact, I turned my sensitivity towards other people’s opinions into my favor, it also helped me to come out of my shell!
My sensitivity towards other people made me listen to them and follow them. It made me move up my personal boundaries time and time again and I felt guilty for saying ‘no’ for a change.
Then I learned that my sensitivity comes from my desire to care for people. And for taking care for others, you first have to take care of yourself to make sure you have something left to give. Learning about different ways to communicate personal boundaries, I found the strategy that works best for me.
I used to perceive people’s reactions towards me in a negative way, in a way that confirmed that I wasn’t good enough.
But did you know that we cannot read other people’s minds? Did you know that many times we actually don’t know what others are trying to communicate to us?
That means there’s a legion of possible messages and perceptions! Are they looking angry because of your behaviour, or because they are having a bad day? I’m just saying…
Without knowing who you are and what you want, you create room for other people to fill it in. Whatever they tell you, you are likely to believe it.
When I started to get to know who I was, I learned:
- What’s important to me
- What is true about what they are saying about me and what is not (and even more important, to ignore the things that were not true or stand up for myself)
- What I wanted for my life, my direction, my purpose
- That even I can be confident!
Learning became fun!
Come join me
Still need some formal information?
– Bachelor of Science (BSC) Applied Psychology at Fontys university
– NLP Practitioner Certificate at MindAcademy
– Working with numerous research articles in the jobs described, and for building up the back bone of Entreprenality
– Various online courses from, amongst others, Coursera
In the last 5 years I have been building up my experience as a coach through different jobs and freelance coaching:
– DNS high school Tilburg: mentoring 3rd years towards independence, self-confidence and choices towards future studies and employment.
– Jobortunity Tanzania: trainer of trainers in coaching tools, employability stimulation and self-development stimulation
– African Impact Tanzania: Research coordinator in ‘Girls Impact Project Moshi” and Health trainer for ‘Wakipa Womens Group’.
– Dynamo Academy Eindhoven: Youth coach and trainer in employability and self-development.
– ONE WORLDcitizens: coach and trainer in entrepreneurship and self-development